r e f i n i n g - t h e - s i l v e r

Inspiration for the month:

A man was walking on the beach, when he came across a part of the sand where thousands of starfish had washed ashore. Further down the beach he saw a child, who was picking up the starfish one at a time and tossing them back into the sea. "You silly girl," he exclaimed. "You can't possibly save all the starfish. There's too many." The girl smiled. "I know. But I can save this one," and she tossed another starfish into the ocean, "and this one," toss, "and this one…"
-Unknown Author

Sure we can't save the world. Does that matter? Nah, we can still try...

nostalgia is a funny thing.
is it the missing of the people or is it the missing of the memories that makes up the heartache? maybe a combination of both. as i was telling my friend a couple days ago, who asked me if i'd move back to calgary given the chance, i dunno if it's really the place i miss as much as the memories i left behind. yes i still do get homesick sometimes. if it's the memories i left behind in junior high, what with FREEDOM and bbush and westside, then it's useless to go back. they don't exist anymore. but if it's the people i miss well then that's a whole different story isn't it? although that is also fading quickly, university being on it's way for us grade 12-ers.
but don't the people make the memories?we ask. yes but people change, and situations change, and places change. when you leave a place, you expect it to freeze exactly as it was when you first left it, and when you do hear of changes it brings beautiful nostalgia. and why exactly am i blogging about this? i'm not quite sure either, except that maybe i'm still trying to answer that friend's question and drawing wisdom or inspiration from the clacking of the keyboard.
in any case, nostalgia is a funny thing.

it's funny that joelle's cat is named pickles. do i like to eat cat?

aristotle stated that life is circular.
the moment i read that, i disagreed, as i have a habit of doing when i take in other people's philosophy. but then after some pondering i guess i concede this point to him. let's start with...the earth. it's round. ok we've established that. it's not even exactly round...but we won't debate that fact. The life cycle is round. producers to consumers to decomposers and back to producers. that comes from bio-nya. our lives as humans are round. birth to growth to aging to death. non-existance back to non existance.ashes to ashes dust to dust. so physical life is round. what about the life that we can't see?
our spiritual life is often compared to a roller coaster, or in my brother's terms, a sine wave. AH HAH i exclaim. that's not a circle ...until it occurs to me that sine waves are only circles that are unrolled. that tidbit comes from mr. walker, my 536 math teacher. emotions are round. or at least "sine waves". and belief in karma is also round. in a sense. whatever you do comes back three-fold.
so i guess mr. aristotle was right.
peanut-butter chocolate cookies are round. and they are the basis of all life.

something weird happened yesterday. not that weird stuff doesn't happen on regular sheila-days but this was quite funny. i was working yesterday, in my fuddy-duddy old job as a librarian and about halfway through my shift i caught this middle aged guy looking at me. just out and out staring. -wow creepy old guy- i thought as i walked past and forgot about it as soon as i hit the next bookshelf. About two minutes later a middle-age-ish lady was staring at me. just standing and staring. and now that i determined it had nothing to do with gender i was getting a little worried. was my hair messed up? did i have something on my face? slipping into the staff bathroom (yes they do have those at libraries) i gave myself a once over in the mirror where i found nothing at all wrong with my appearance.
thus i drew the sad conclusion that these people has just never seen a chinese person before.
i am a curiosity.